- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.
- I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
- There are two hard problems in computer science: cache validation, variable substitution, and off-by-one errors.
- Somebody guessed my password — so I had to rename my dog.
- Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other “I’ve lost an electron.”
The other atom says “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
- My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.
- If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
- To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
- Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Free Research Report: How secure are the Security Products?
- (for those who loves lawyers) I will write on a huge cement block “by accepting this brick through your window, you accept it as is and agree to my disclaimer of all warranties, express or implied, as well as disclaimers of all liability, direct, indirect, consequential or Incidental that may arise from the installation of this brick into your building.” And then hurl it through the window and Run like Hell…
- These people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless. They must think they’re super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecured network. Unfortunately, the connection works both ways
- A cop pulls over Werner Heisenberg and says, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg responds, “NO, but I know EXACTLY where I am.”